Last week, I rewatched The Wedding Planner. We had a wedding to attend and my husband, Peter, was due to give a toast, so I felt it’d be topical (he also made the mistake of leaving the remote unattended so, sorry, but The Other Guys would have to wait another day).
The movie stars Jennifer Lopez as the titular planner, Mary, a woman so good at her job if the movie were made today, she’d be this meme. We know she’s wed to her career because in the establishing scene a young Mary plays with her Barbies, running a pitch perfect ceremony. Her life outside of work is restrained (y’know, unlike the pomp and circumstance of a wedding), consisting of mainly TV dinners and playing poker with her dad and his senior citizen friends (oh, also she’s Italian in this movie which I’ll let slide because Gwen Stefani ran around in a bindi for years and we said nothing).
The Wedding Planner has all the trappings of an early aughts rom com: Judy Greer as her BFF, set pieces that look like an Easter flash sale and a pre-McConaissance Matthew, who plays her love interest, Dr. Steve Edison (a pediatric doctor for maximum dreaminess ofc). They have a classic meet-cute (he saves her life when she’s almost taken out by a - checks notes - runaway dumpster; more importantly, he saves her Gucci heel) and they spend a perfect day today, ending in an almost-kiss in the rain. There’s just one small caveat - he’s the groom in the Big Wedding she’s planning to her Dream Client (Brigitte Sampras) who shockingly still hires her after Mary lets her (and her parents) CRASH another client’s wedding so they can see her work IRL. Shenanigans ensue.
The movie came out at a pivotal time in JLo’s career: she’d turned 30 and had both the number one movie and album (her debut) on the charts, an insane feat when you think about what it takes to go viral now. It also came at a pivotal time in my life, on the cusp of my move to the US. I’d only seen Lopez on the red carpet once (that Grammys, that dress) but when On the 6 dropped, I rushed to buy it. Even now, it’s hard to explain the chokehold this album had on me, especially this song:
Yes, it’s a banger, and the video was wild, sexy and so perfectly of the time. But for me, it was a window into “something else.” Every pop girlie - and romcom lead - I’d idolized up until this point had been perky, blonde and white. Even in Bollywood, beauty standards were high but united by one tenet: a leading lady had to be fair. I’m a deep-medium on my darkest day but colorism for South Asian women runs deeper than that. As a kid my mum (who favors more peaches-and-cream) was accosted by older relatives who asked why I’d turned out “so dark,” like my dad’s genetics were supposed to take a backseat to their ideals. I’d grown up bombarded by marketing collateral for whitening creams so seeing someone in such bronze glittery technicolor was thrilling. If you asked me what my American Dream was, it looked a lot like JLo! Plus, she encapsulated aughts energy perfectly - opulent, OTT, a little tacky, so babely she was literally shaped like a guitar.
I wouldn’t call myself a die hard fan; I have the attention span of a gnat which prevents me from being a true stan of anything. But I’ve checked in on my girl over the years and she’s never disappointed. Love her or hate her she takes big swings. Her career is varied (sexy thriller, action flicks, pure camp, cop procedural). Her personal life is legendary tabloid fodder, filling in the Liz Taylor gap. She has some of my favorite red carpet looks of all time. But man, do people love to hate her. (To be fair, this is maybe one of the cuntier celebrity interviews). I guess I get it to a degree: she’s so out there (the less I say about This Is Me….Now, the better). She loves to address her haters. She’s obsessed with charting her rise from nothing to superstar.
Still, I watch this video and see someone who just wanted a bigger life than what was outlined for her. Is that the worst thing in the world? She’s vocal about it and maybe that’s her biggest sin - being honest about wanting to be larger-than-life. Yes she’s prone to self-mythologizing, but so was Jackie re: Camelot.
Back to The Wedding Planner. I enjoyed it. It doesn’t hold up the way that say, Maid In Manhattan does which may simply boil down to it lacking this scene (when I moved out of my first post-college spot with my friend Tommy, we unearthed two copies so you know we really loved it). Still, rewatching it, I was struck by how effortless she is on screen. Lopez has a presence you can’t manufacture. The camera loves her, she’s got great timing and she’s miraculously aged maybe two days since. She had top billing over a-now Oscar winner. She’s the reason we have Google Images! Honestly, sometimes when I’m in a funk, I put on her half time show and it never fails to fire me up. Sure, she’s a little delulu, but in an increasingly maddening world, I simply can’t hate her for it!
They don’t make romcoms like this anymore and because I don’t want to start my weekend totally depressed, I’ll choose a different time to meditate on my industry. Instead I’ll leave you with these parting words from Dr Steve Edison himself:
“We need a little lightness. We don’t get as much of it anymore. But Wedding Planner is buoyant for a reason. You’re dancing across the clouds. It feels a little bit like Saturday evening when you’re watching those movies. And you don’t want it to feel like Monday!”*
Maybe it’s hard recreating this magic because stars have to be so much more relatable now. I kind of miss when they felt untouchable. To that end, I find it downright reassuring to see JLo sipping her spangled cups, releasing Ben Affleck’s private love letters and spending $20 million to greenlight her own projects.
PS fun wedding lore: I walked down the aisle to Hot Tears by Pinky Pinky which in addition to being a gorgeous little tune is fronted by Eve Chambers, daughter of Justin Chambers (Karev of Grey’s Anatomy fame) who plays Massimo in - you guessed - The Wedding Planner. So in the end, all roads lead back to JLo for me after all.
*As someone who watched this on a Monday I can confirm it made my week instantly more palatable.
CATTY CORNER
I’m still thinking about Phoebe Philo’s NYT profile by Vanessa Friedman, in particular this bit:
I find this both chilling and reassuring. As a former teen girl and nightmare (sorry mom), it’s proof that at a certain age, you’re not alone in feeling there’s nothing your parents can do right*, even if said parent is like, the Empress of Cool. I can already hear my future offspring dragging me over this not being nearly catty enough (and for getting rid of my Paddington bag, RIP).
*It should be noted that said daughter is a budding fashion superstar in her own right so I guess no matter how hard you fight, you do eventually turn into your parents.
CHILI METER RISING: DELIGHTFUL THINGS
New Brew - Anytime my very cool friend AVI (the mastermind behind this account) makes a rec, I sit up and take note. Chances are if you’ve chatted with me in the last three months, you know my love for NB runs deep (I’m drinking one right now!) Billed as a “euphoric seltzer” that supports a “unique combination of calm, clarity and connection,” it’s the exact sort of thing that would’ve gotten skewered on 30 Rock but I’m simply too Venice-pilled to be a skeptic. What I do know is that it gets me into a gorgeous little writing flow with zero caffeine slump. It’s also an excellent NA alternative. As my friend Daniel texted me in his first NB afterglow:
Idk what it did to me but ive never gone to sleep feeling like the world was such an amazing place to be
If that’s not a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is! They’ve kindly given me an affiliate code so I canstart my own cultshare the love. You can click here or use code PERVEEN25.Tom Lake - I’m very tardy to the the Ann Patchett party and this couldn’t have been a lovelier intro to her oeuvre. A story about mothers, daughters, first loves and the (full) lives your parents lived before you came along
to ruin it,it’s simultaneously wholesome and sexy, sweet and grounded, and had an ending that was both gratifying and devastating. If a lazy Sunday morning is in your future, brew a pot of coffee and curl up with this.Ilia Skin Rewind Complexion Stick - Here’s the thing about cult-products - they work! Available in a wide range of shades with gorgeous buildable coverage, this stick really does it all. It also has a thumb groove and who doesn’t appreciate good design! I just wore this for hours in the Texas sun, and my skin stayed matte throughout the day, a feat that should be celebrated on its own.
Strawberry Baby Baggu - getting a birthday gift is always a treat. Getting a birthday gift from your friend’s newborn is downright delightful. This reusable tote was a surprise from my Paige’s daughter Winnie who at six months already has fantastic taste. Affectionately dubbed “Strawberry” while she was in-utero, the bag always making me think of her on those farmer’s market and wine shops runs. Since it packs down to a teeny square, it’s great to toss in your bag if you shop like me (impulsively and compulsively).
And speaking of wine, this one’s a real delight. A little chocolatey, a little smokey, still jammy and at the risk of actually sounding like someone who knows what she’s talking about, it opens up beautifully.
FASHION FLICK: ROADHOUSE
Because I’m an equal opportunist, here’s one for the boys!
There’s so much in the first 30 minutes alone that simply wouldn’t fly today, but if you appreciate it as a relic of it’s time, you’re in for a ride. Patrick Swayze plays James Dalton, an unflappable bouncer with a spotty past. He’s hired by a Missouri businessman to run ship at his nightclub, Double Deuce (….), but his past naturally follows him deep into the Delta. There’s also a de-throating, which, sure! Dalton brings order, yes, but he also brings a natty little wardrobe of perfectly worn-in menswear. These pleated pants alone! Order in the court!
Men’s fash can be tough (is that why everyone’s kicking around in sweatsuits these days?) but Swayze looks so cool in everything he wears. He infuses a mock neck that, worn wrong would look buffoonish, with an air of stately mystery. The pleating on his white trousers are flattering and flawless. Being blessed with that perfect head of hair (proof that Houstonians are indeed God’s favorites) doesn’t hurt either.
Honorable mention: Kelly Lynch’s gingham dress that you know lives on a Ref/Lisa Says Gah mood board or three.
Side note: Kelly Lynch, what have you been up to? If your agent is reading this, let’s get you, Daryl Hannah and Laura Dern in a dramedy about bickering sisters, stat!
WHO IS SHE
FRIDAY BOP ALERT 🚨
Waking up in Texas to a new Beyoncé album? We’re not putting a price on that feeling on my watch!
This is a dense, layered listen so calling out favorites is tough. Every time I cue it up, I sonically discover something new. Is it II MOST WANTED (a stunning ode to sisterhood that made me burst into tears on the way to my dentist)? RIIVERDANCE (pure bop)? The spitfire in JOLENE? AMERICAN REQUIEM which is so operatic, you can hear every ounce of yearning, pain and beauty in her voice?
Since it’s Friday, we’ll focus on joy, so YA YA is it. You try hearing that Nancy Sinatra sample and not feeling some type of way. It’s Third Coast meets West Coast, it’s begging for a margarita on the dance floor with your girls. I’ll be kicking my boots up to this one a little longer.
See you in two weeks, when I’ll be licking my post-Coachella wounds (or still riding high, who knows?!) Until then - yeehaw!
Thank you for being a subscriber! If you’ve enjoyed reading Chili Padi, do tell your friends <3
YeeeeeeeeeeeeHAW